Besaid Chronicles III
by xX GTAshadow Xx
Summary: Number 1 was great, Number 2 was all right, but short... Number 3 will be excellent! ...hopefully.
1. A Fake Sword and a Pirate

**Besaid Chronicles III**

_Is everyone sick of this or do they want more? This'll be the best yet... (hopefully)... cameos and randomness like never before!! And the clubhouse is back too!!_

"Yeah!! The clubhouse is better than ever!!" _Rikku exclaims._

_There is a knock at the door. Yuna answers._

"Hello. Would you like to buy a sword? It's called 'Excalibur'." _the stranger asks._

_Yuna examines the sword._

"No way! I can tell right away that this isn't Excalibur!! Tidus showed me Excalibur! It has Break Damage Limit!! This sword is ExcaliPOOR!! It has an ability called 'One Damage'!!" _Yuna shouts as she drives the stranger off with Holy._

_Rikku turns on the TV._

**NEWS.**

**"...and be sure to watch our for the infamous Gilgamesh, who has been trying to sell his worthless Excalipoor blades to unassuming victims.**

"Wait... that stranger... he was Gilgamesh!" _Yuna exclaims._

**"There has been a mass outbreak of yellow electrical rats around Besaid, Luca, Kilika, and Guadosalam. They appear to be coming from Baaj Temple and the Omega Ruins. Be careful as these creatures are tough." **

"Pikachu!!" _Yuna exclaims._

_Pikachu appears._

"Oops, I meant those creatures are Pikachu, not like this one, but evil ones!" _Yuna says._

_Pikachu disappears._

**"..and the Luca Goers lost big to the Aurochs, 182 to 1. How the hell did they score so much?"**

_Rikku turns off the TV._

"Pikachu? Aurochs winning big? Excalipoor? What's next? A gun-wielding pirate guy with a nice accent?" _Rikku wonders._

_Balthier bursts in._

"Sorry. I made a wrong turn." _he says._

_Balthier sees Yuna._

"Hey, you sort of look like Ashe..." _he comments._

_Balthier disappears._

"What was that about? Who's Ashe? What's going on?" _Yuna asks._

_Datto and Letty enter, carrying a propane tank._

"Some guy named Hank was sellin' these things called propane tanks. He said we could cook with 'em, ya?" _Datto explains._

"He also said 'That boy ain't right.' Think he meant Tidus?" _Letty says._

_They cook up some Dingo burgers and have Yuneos for desert. What'll happen next on Besaid Chronicles III!?_

_**Continued... if it's the best ever, so far...**_

_**Bonus: Excalipoor**_

_**[One Damage**_

_**If Tidus used it, he'd be pissed off!**_


	2. Propane Party!

_Hey, look! Wakka's cooking with propane!_

"..and propane accessories." _Hank Hill adds._

_While Wakka cooks the Dingo burgers, Rikku turns on the TV._

**Brock's Chronicles**

**"Well, I have no f--kin' idea where Ash is! I guess he went to that goddamn 'Sinnoh' region without me! Fine! But he ain't gonna live long without my goddamn Swellow stew and Magikarp casserole!"**

**"Shut up, Brock, and eat your Pikachu burgers!"**

_**Switch.**_

**"The movie 'Showdown of Fate IV' will be coming out soon. It's supposed to be good, right Craig?"**

**"That's right, Jim! It's gonna star Sir Jecht!"**

**"Wow!'**

_**Switch.**_

**"...mix it all together and you know that it's the best of both worlds!"**

_**Switch.**_

**"She said it was over and it was not over! She said it was over and it was not over!"**

**"Na na nana NA!!"**

**"YEAH!!"**

**"Ooh, my ears are still ringing..."**

**"It was cool when you all stopped playing... at the same time!"**

_**Switch.**_

_Outside, Tidus, Auron, and Kimahri try to enter Besaid, but are blocked by Dark Valefor._

"Eh, what's all this, then?" _Auron asks._

"COR BLIMEY!" _Kimahri shouts._

_Dark Valefor starts up an Ultima!_

_Hank Hill runs in, throws a propane tank at Dark Valefor, and runs away._

_Dark Valefor explodes into bits._

"COR BLIMEY!" _Kimahri shouts._

_Tidus, Auron, and Kimahri pick up their supplies: X-Potion, Dingo Sausage, Water Flan, and a Garuda roast._

_They threw a huge party that included Homer Simpson, Hank Hill, Ash Ketchum (!), Derek Venturi, Casey MacDonald, The Backstreet Boys (who died via Kimahri's Nova attack), and some guy named Bob._

"Yeah, but Bob got killed by a Dingo. That's how much he sucks!" _Rikku exclaims._

_Tidus is gone._

"Tidus went to Luca to shoot 'Showdown of Fate IV' with Sir Jecht! I can't wait for it to be finished!" _Yuna exclaims._

_**To Be Continued... **_

_**Oh, and some kid named 'Phil' arrived and said something that sounded like 'Stupid Pim, getting us lost again...' Yuna gave him a map and he disappeared.**_


	3. A Certain Purple Enemy

_'COR BLIMEY' - expression of surprise, don't exactly know much about it, but it's in Dragon Quest VIII: Journey of the Cursed King..._

_Rikku's playing Perfect Dark again!? No wait, it's DQ8!! Wakka is cooking again. Kimahri has snapped out of the 'Cor Blimey' phase._

"Finally... I thought he never would.." _Yuna says._

_All of a sudden, a blitzball flies threw the room and knocks Keepa out._

"Some goalie he is.." _Datto says._

"Stupid fat-assed son of a bi--" _Letty says._

"DUDE!! Keepa's with us 'cause he's gonna have a HUGE shot!!" _Botta yells._

"But he sucks!! He'll never get up there to shoot!" _Letty counters._

_Botta and Letty go outside to revive Keepa. Rikku turns on the TV._

_**'Second Sight: The Movie'**_

**"Vattic! Vattic, get your ass over here!" **

**"Yes, sir! I just wanted to see if those guys were dead yet. I wanted to possess them."**

**"Vattic, you piece of crap! Get in there and make me a sandwich!"**

**"Yes sir!"**

_**Switch.**_

**"Hey everyone! It's time for Barney!"**

"Nooo!!" _Rikku exclaims as she quickly switches._

_Suddenly, Barney is outside being kicked around by the Aurochs._

"Stop! You're gonna regret this!" _Barney whines._

_Tidus chops Barney in two, Letty burns the remains, and a Dingo eats the remains then promptly explodes. Everyone pukes all over Kimahri._

"Kimahri smell bad now. Need to go to Macalania Spring." _Kimarhi says._

"So that's why the spring water's all green and yucky!" _Yuna exclaims._

"Also 'cause Cid's been dumping toxic waste in there."_ Auron says._

"So vydran'c y fyhdat lnesehym..." _Rikku says._

_The airship flies above at a high speed, followed, or rather, chased by Spiran police._

_Suddenly, Yuna screams._

"It's a spider!! It's all big and hairy and big and gross and scary and big... !!" _Yuna exclaims._

_Auron kills the spider. A Dingo eats it. Auron kills the Dingo. Wakka cooks the Dingo. Everyone eats it._

_**Continued...**_

_**At Macalania Spring... an evil purple dinosaur is rising from the toxic waste...**_

**"Barney's back, sucka!!"**


	4. Spiders and Barney!

_What's this? Yuna spotted another spider? And a mouse!? Dude, the clubhouse needs cleaning!_

_Kimahri eats the mouse._

_Well, that's one problem solved... but Yuna spotted two more spiders!_

"Ahh! Two big hairy spiders!!" _Yuna yells._

_Auron kills the spiders, but they simply multiply. Wakka kills them, making four more. Then eight. This goes until there are about 50 spiders crawling around. Yuna hides under a table. _

"Everyone outside! I'm gonna spray 'em with this Industrial Strength Al Bhed Insectide!" _Rikku exclaims._

_Everyone goes outside while Rikku exterminates the spiders. They come back in to find that the spiders have been completely vaporized._

"Cool, huh?" _Rikku asks._

"The big scary spiders are all gone now?" _Yuna asks._

_Someone knocks on the door. Rikku answers it._

"Ahh! It's Barney again!!" _she exclaims._

"You're not nice! You get no cake!" _Barney scolds._

"Who wants your disgusting crap cake that's made from Malboro tentacles and rotten insects!" _Rikku shouts._

_Barney gets mad and blows fire. Yuna casts NulBlaze and stops the attack. A Dingo rushes in, bites Barney, and promptly dies of severe poisoning._

"HA! I can't die so easily!" _Barney taunts._

_Kimahri jumps on Barney._

"Ha! Fool!" _Barney shouts._

_Rikku throws all her items at Barney._

"Grenade! Arctic Wind! Antarctic Wind!!" _Rikku shouts._

_Barney is unaffected._

_Yuna throws her staff and knocks Barney head off._

"Ahh! What the frick!?" _Barney roars._

_Tidus and Wakka finish Barney off by throwing him into a fire._

"It smells like rubber." _Yuna says._

"Man, that's nasty." _Datto comments._

"Well, we won't be seeing him for awhile." _Rikku says as she turns on the TV._

**"Why aren't you out with Kendra!?"**

**"We got in a fight.. and now it's over."**

**"No no.. it's not over! Go make up with her!"**

_**Switch.**_

**"This's the (BEEP) nastiest (BEEP) I've ever eaten! What is it, chocobo (BEEP)!?"**

**"Cid, please! Aerith went to all this trouble!"**

**"(BEEP) you, Cloud! I'm gonna have a (BEEP)in' smoke and drink some (BEEP)in' tea while I watch the (BEEP)in' Dukes!"**

_**Switch.**_

**"I did do the nasty in the past-y!"**

_**Switch.**_

**"Come on down to Brother's Auto Shop! We got a car that can drive over water!" **

**"Yeah! I'm goin' to Staunton Island!"**

**"So hurry up and get one before they're gone!"**

_**Switch off.**_

"I can't wait 'til 'Showdown of Fate IV' is out." _Rikku says._

_**Continued...**_


	5. Rikku's New Overdrive!

_A car flies through the air with a strange man yelling things like 'You wrecked my shit!' and 'Did you buy your license?'... he acquires money for a really insane stunt._

"Rikku's playing GTA: San Andreas again..." _Yuna says._

_The man blows up a police helicopter and decapitates a few cops._

"She's now got a 6-star wanted level!! I never got that high!" _Tidus complains._

"Probably 'cause you're stuck in Los Santos where you can only get 4 stars!" _Rikku exclaims._

_The doorbell rings. Yuna answers it. It's a strange man who looks oddly familiar..._

"Hey, is this Big Smoke's Crack Palace? Wait.. that ain't right.. sorry!" _the man shouts._

_He leaves, dropping a weapon._

"Hey, it's a gun!" _Yuna exclaims._

"Fully automatic... not like the Yevon guns at all." _Rikku says._

_They keep the gun in case Seymour shows up. Or Barney. Or a Dingo pack._

_(Dingo is the weakest monster in Spira, a wolf-type creature that Tidus can easily hit.)_

_A Dingo eats a spider._

"Enough of this. What's on TV?" _Rikku says._

**Grand Theft Pokemon**

**"Ash, you f--kin' busta! I'm gonna waste you for bangin' May in the f--kin' warehouse!"**

**"No! Wait! If I help you steal the plane from Giovanni, you have to let me live!"**

**"...f--k.. fine, but make it snappy!"**

**"Yeah, whatever."**

_**Switch.**_

**Soul Calibur TV**

**"Looks like Kilik wins another one, Jimma!"**

**"Yeah, but Zasalamel's makin' a comeback, Bobba!"**

**"Hell yeah, Jimma! And Mitsurugi's gonna be comin' back!"**

_**Switch off.**_

_A herd of wild evil black chocobos appears outside._

"Wild, evil black chocobos!? They're blowing stuff with ChocoPellets!!" _Yuna exclaims._

"This is the time to try out my new overdrive!" _Rikku exclaims._

_Rikku mixes 2 tootsie roll pops, 3 bags of sugar, and 1 bottle of Dr. Pepper._

_**Overdrive: SUGAR RUSH!!!**_

_A brilliant flash of light and lasers bounce around while Rikku attacks the chocobos VERY quickly and swiftly, doing around 1,625,630 damage in total!_

_The chocobos dissolve into dust._

_Rikku then falls asleep and is carried back by Kimahri._

"She needs to rest. That overdrive seems to wear her out, I guess." _Yuna says._

_The villagers eat well that night..._

_Rikku wakes up. Yuna enters with a movie._

"It's 'Showdown of Fate IV!" _Yuna exclaims.._

_Yuna puts it in the player._

**Showdown of Fate IV**

**"Sir Jecht... I wish to see your strength."**

**"Fat chance, jerk!"**

_**Jecht slashes the shoopuf and immediately gets chased by several Yevon Warrior Monks. He kills them one by one.**_

**"Jecht.. your fines came to 172928 gil... that's all Braska's traveling money..."**

**"Ah, shut up, Auron! From now on, I'm only drinin' shoopuf milk..." **

**END.**

"Wow, Jecht kicked ass!" _Rikku exclaims._

"Yes.. hey, I noticed that Barney hasn't returned!" _Yuna notices._

"Hey, yeah! Maybe he's dead for good!" _Rikku exclaims._

_Don't count on it..._

_**Continued...**_

_**A car flies through the air and hits a casino. The word 'Wasted' appears on the screen.**_

**"Wasted again!" **_**Wakka shouts.**_

_**Again, the Dingo thing is funny since it's the weakest fiend, and it's funny seeing them eat stuff or kill things!**_


	6. Blitzball Report!

_A dingo kills another dingo. A Garuda gobbles up a few Dingo's._

"It's time for the Blitzball Report!" _Wakka says._

_**TV: Switch On.**_

_**Blitzball!**_

_**Hot Streaks**__** - Tidus, Wakka, Brother, Linna, Shaami, Wedge, Larbeight, Isken, Blappa, Judda, Bickson, Graav, Abus, Keepa (!), Sahagin, Sahagin Chief, Water Flan (!), The ball itself, Miley Cyrus, Hilary Duff, Derek Venturi, Edwin Venturi, Some Guy Named Joe, Smokin' Joe Camel, Nick Loserly.**_

_**Cold Streaks**__** - Letty, Datto, Doram, Deim, the entire Ronso Fangs team, the entire Guado Glories team, Seymour Guado, a Cab Driver, Big Smoke, Mario, Luigi, Sephiroth, Sora, Donald, Goofy.**_

_**"Let's hope Sora, Donald, and Goofy can overcome their cold streaks!"**_

_**"Now the injury report."**_

_**Injuries**__ -__** Kefka Palazzo out 3 weeks with Pulled Groin, Kulukan out 1 week with Sprained Ankle, Botta out 5 weeks with Sore Back, George Venturi out 2 weeks with Minor Concussion, Riku out 1/2 week with fangirls stalking, Carl Johnson out 2 weeks with Wanted Level of 4 stars.**_

_**Switch off.**_

"Keepa's on a hot streak!?" _Rikku exclaims._

"He must have finally reached Level 99!" _Yuna says._

_A car flies over the village and crashes into the temple._

_**Wasted.**_

_Wakka lost his weapons and money._

_Tidus runs past with 6 stars hovering above. A large tank pursues, followed by army men, a Bevelle Police Department (BPD) Enforcer._

_They gun Tidus down._

_Wakka inputs the 'Lock Wanted Level' cheat by jumping around and attacking the air._

_The cops stop chasing._

"What was that all about?" _Rikku asks._

_A flash of light. Rikku wakes up._

"What..? Oh, it was a dream. I guess I fell asleep while Wakka was watching the 'Blitzball Report'."_ Rikku says._

_**Back to Blitzball...**_

_**Trades**__** - Besaid traded Jassu to Al Bhed for Miley Cyrus.**_

_**"Wow! What a trade!"**_

_**Ronso dropped Gazna Ronso and signed Washington Ronso.**_

_**Ronso dropped Nuvy Ronso and signed Yenke and Biran Ronso.**_

_**Ronso called Kimahri Ronso up from Minors.**_

_**Switch.**_

_**Man Getting Hit In Groin By Blitzball**_

_**Seymour gets hit by a blitzball.**_

_**Followed by Kefka, Sephiroth, Berrik, Nizarut, Brother (twice), and Ash Ketchum.**_

_**Switch off.**_

_**Continued...**_


	7. Newsflash!

_Carl Johnson knocks on the door. Yuna answers._

"This ain't gonna be pretty!" _CJ yells._

_Yuna is hit with a pie._

_While Yuna is cleaning up, Rikku runs in._

"Yunie! Guess what!? We got what's called a 'Green Screen'! It's for this game called 'Newsflash'!" _she exclaims._

_Everyone goes outside to play 'Newsflash'._

"Now, Rikku has to guess what's happening on the green screen. She can't see the scene, only green. Rikku has to guess based on hints from Yuna and the others." _Keepa explains._

**Newsflash**

"We got Rikku out in the field reporting on a major event. Could you tell us about it, Rikku?" _Yuna says._

_Carl Johnson runs over someone._

"It's pretty quiet here. I just got here and nothing has happened yet." _Rikku says._

"Would you say action's pretty flat?" _Tidus asks._

"Not really. It's just rather quiet."_ Rikku says._

_CJ drives through fence._

"When I got here, things looked like this!" _Rikku exclaims._

_Grove Street OG's and Ballas are having a gang war._

"All I can say is, 'Go Purple and Green'!" _Yuna exclaims._

"Don't you think you should have ammo?" _Tidus asks._

"I don't think so. No one seems to be after me." _Rikku says._

_A GSF OG dives 'toward' Rikku._

"Oh! You'd better find yourself a car!"_ Yuna exclaims._

"I'll do that. As soon as I check this out." _Rikku says._

_A Rhino Tank rolls past._

_CJ steals a car from the Ballas._

_A car explodes._

"You'd better hurry, or there'll be no cars left." _Wakka says._

_BUZZ!_

"Rikku, can you guess what's going on?" _Keepa asks._

"It's... something about San Andreas?" _Rikku replies._

"Basically. It's CJ and other fighting Ballas in San Andreas." _Keepa says._

"That was fun!" _Rikku exclaims._

"Maybe next time we'll try a 'Press Conference'." _Keepa says._

_**Continued...**_


	8. A Mysterious Fighter?

_Hey, there's Carl Johnson! He's throwing pies at Tidus and Wakka! If they can dodge 200 pies, they win the "Pluto Sigil" and please don't ask what it's for 'cause no one seems to know!_

"What the hell's this 'Pluto Crest'?" _Letty asks._

"It looks like our Crests but no one has a 'Pluto'.." _Yuna says._

_CJ has left already and Tidus picks up the Pluto Sigil._

"So, who's got the matching weapon for these things?" _Tidus asks._

"We haven't figured it out yet.." _Yuna says._

_Just then... a mysterious figure appears and kills a few Dingo's that have snuck up._

"Who's this?" _Auron asks._

_The mystery fighter kills a few Flans with a blast of Thunder._

"Appears to be a girl." _Wakka says._

"She knows black magic." _Yuna notes._

_The girl wastes a bird with one slash of her sword._

_A few Dingo's sneak up and get killed._

"Who are you?" _Yuna asks._

"I'm Luna, Warrior of Yevon."_ the girl replies._

"You are quite skilled with a sword."_ Auron notes._

"I've had training in Bevelle." _Luna says._

"Hey, we have this Crest and Sigil here, called 'Pluto'... could they have something to do with you?" _Tidus asks._

_Luna takes the items._

"These.. power weapons up, right? Could it be...?" _Luna wonders._

"Only one way to find out!" _Rikku exclaims._

_They fly to the Macalania Weapon Charging Thing._

_Luna present her sword, which the Thing calls "Aurablade"._

_Abilities - Break Damage Limit, Triple AP (!), Evade+Counter, and (a new one!) Attack Boost._

"Well, that's that.." _Luna says._

"Yay you!!" _Rikku exclaims, clapping._

_They go back to Besaid, at the clubhouse._

_Yuna makes more 'Yuneos', (ain't seen THOSE in awhile, huh?)... _

"Yay me!!" _Yuna exclaims, clapping._

_Everyone starts on the Yuneos, while Yuna starts making more._

**Continued...**

_"I just realized something! Luna rhymes with Yuna!!" Rikku exclaims. "Yay me!!"_

_**Oh, and expect to see 'Luna' and 'Aurablade' in other things as well! **_

_**Like FF8, for one... what should Luna do in FF8... ? Gotta figure that out...**_


	9. Barney's Back?

_CJ delivers a pizza. He then takes off on his 'Pizzaboy'._

"Pizza's here!" _Luna calls._

_Everyone gathers around for pizza. Pikachu gobbles half of it up._

"Pikachu!! Get out of here!" _Yuna scolds, dismissing Pikachu._

_They finish what's left of the pizza._

"Let's see what's on!" _Rikku exclaims, turning the TV on._

_**Sora In The House**_

**'I'm the Master, gettin' it done**

**I've got the Keyblade and havin' some fun, ya know?'**

_**You'd better calm down, Sora...**_

**'I'm talkin' 'bout an all out party, we're gettin' it started**

**King Mickey, you mind some electric guitar?'**

_**Radiant Garden will never be the same, 'cause we got Sora, Sora, Sora In The House**_

_**Sora, Sora, Sora check it out**_

_**He's shake it up and change it**_

_**Take it all and rearrange it**_

_**He's got a new plan**_

_**Hey, Ansem**_

_**We've got Sora In The House**_

**'I'm Your Man!'**

_**Sora In The House**_

_Switch._

_**"You should've backed down and run away!"**_

_Switch._

_**"Chill it out, take it slow, then you rock out the show!"**_

_Switch off._

"Nothing good." _Rikku says._

_CJ runs in, throws a pie at Wakka, then escapes._

_Vic Vance runs in, throws a pie at Tidus, then escapes._

_Tommy Vercetti runs in, swipes gil off the table, then escapes._

"Weird..." _Luna says._

_ALERT! Unidentified Fat Object (UFO) in Besaid Square!!_

"It's gotta be Barney!" _Yuna exclaims._

_Everyone rushes out to catch Barney._

"Man, he's ugly!" _Luna says._

"Uglier than Sin!" _Rikku exclaims._

_Barney's got a new attack! __**Ultra PowerBomb 3000!**_

_Barney leaps high and slams the ground so hard, the village vibrates._

"If he keeps that up, the village will be destroyed!" _Yuna shouts._

_Luna leaps forward and jabs Barney. Yuna summons Pikachu. Rikku throws grenades. All attacks seem to do very little. All of a sudden, Barney falls over and standing beside him is...A DINGO!!_

"What!? All of our attacks failed and he's beaten by a DINGO!?" _Wakka shouts._

_The Dingo does a Victory Pose. It gains Sphere Levels!?_

_The Dingo learns Dark Attack... wait, maybe not..._

_The Dingo is eaten by a Garuda. _

_Everyone goes back to clubhouse._

"So, a Dingo won that fight..." _Auron says._

"Barney had upped his defenses, but he forgot to protect himself against lesser fiends." _Yuna says._

"Yeah, but a Dingo!?" _Rikku exclaims._

"Oh well, let's just hope he stays away this time." _Yuna says._

_**Continued...**_

_**And Garuda is that large white bird that Wakka fights, well Valefor fights it first.**_

_**A car flies through the air and does a triple flip. **_

_**Triple Insane Stunt Bonus!**_


	10. Radioactive Dingo!

_Hey, Luna was a guest, she had to leave to prepare for... wait for it... __**The Ultimate Deathmatches III**__! She's gonna be the announcer or whatever. Oh, and Barney's dead, here's a certificate sayin' he ain't comin' back!_

"He's dead for good?" _Yuna asks, putting the certificate in a safe._

"He's dead!" _The Aurochs chant._

_A Pizzaboy flies through the room._

"Sorry." _CJ says, reclaiming it and speeding off._

_A pack of Dingo's runs past, eating everything in sight._

"Not again!" _Yuna exclaims, summoning Yojimbo._

"You ain't been payin' me bitch! Gimme my pay and I'll open a can 'o whoop-ass on these foo's! _Yojimbo shouts._

_Yuna pays Yojimbo 150000 gil._

"It be a pay cut, but whatever." _Yojimbo says, ripping the Dingo pack apart._

_Yojimbo disappears._

"Good thing he's not a blitzball player." _Keepa says._

"He'd cost 1000000 gil a game!" _Datto adds._

"And I thought Basik Ronso was expensive!" _Letty comments._

_Tidus turns the TV on._

_**"Come one Come all! Join us at (insert arena name here) for the Third Annual ULTIMATE DEATHMATCHES! Hosted by the great Luna! Judged by Derek Venturi, Casey McDonald, and whoever else wants to!"**_

_**Switch.**_

_**"Sweet niblets, that girl's done it again."**_

_**Switch.**_

_**"D'oh, Whoo hoo, that boy ain't right!"**_

_**Switch off.**_

_A pack of Radioactive Super-Dingo's has formed at the center of the village._

"Sweet niblets! Look outside!" _Rikku exclaims._

_The RSD's are ripping everything up. _

"This looks like a job for... Super CJ!" _someone yells._

_CJ appears in a police uniform holding a rocket launcher. He blasts the RSD's to bits. _

"That'll hold 'em for awhile, but remember! They're Radioactive!" _CJ says._

_CJ speeds off on a Sanchez._

"Sweet niblets!" _Rikku exclaims._

_**Continued...**_

_**"Sweet niblets!"**_

_**And Barney's dead! **_

**"Yay us!" **_**Rikku exclaims, clapping.**_


	11. Physics and DDR!

_Yay me!! ...is all Rikku said when she got back from this place called 'Tipton' or whatever... _

"...and this Moseby guy was pissed off!" _Rikku exclaims._

_CJ runs in, leaves a free pizza, and disappears._

"Cool! Pizza!" _Rikku cheers._

_They eat the pizza._

_Balthier runs in._

"Sorry, wrong turn again. What? Not the Ashe-look-a-like again..." _Balthier says._

_Balthier disappears._

_Cid is on the airship playing DanceDance Revolution against Brother and some President dude, Rikku needs to study for her Physics exam... dude.. what?_

"Physics? Awesome!" _some guy named 'Newt' says before disappearing in a cloud of purple smoke._

"This sucks! I can't understand this!" _Rikku complains._

"Maybe this will help!"_ Yuna exclaims as Shaami turns on a magical sphere radio, providing a beat._

"First law of motion is a piece of cake..." _Yuna sings._

"..things don't move till they get a shake!" _Shaami adds._

"Second law of motion is all about the force..." _Yuna sings._

"...if something's hit hard, then the object takes that course!" _Shaami adds._

"Third law of motion gives you satisfaction..." _Yuna sings._

"...for every force made there's an opposite reaction!" _Shaami finishes._

_Shaami leaves._

"Wow! That was cool! Thanks, Yunie!" _Rikku exclaims._

_Next day, Rikku passes Physics, CJ delivers a pizza, Tidus kills a Dingo, Wakka knocks out a Garuda, Auron buys a motorcycle then sells it to Vic Vance, Balthier returns to get a picture of Yuna to prove to Ashe that her and Yuna look alike, Cid wins back the deed to the Al Bhed Home through the DDR contest, Brother levels up 5 times in blitzball, and Basik Ronso is pissed off since no one sign him for charging 3500 gil a game (really! truthfully!)._

"I'm glad he won Home back." _Rikku says. _"And I passed the exam!"

"He let Kelk Ronso have the jacket though..." _Yuna says._

"Who'd have thought Ronso could play DDR?" _Tidus asks._

"Kimahri is good at DDR." _Kimahri says._

_Sgt. Cortez runs in and says "It's time to split!"._

_And for now... it is._

_**Continued...**_

_**"It's time to split, sweet niblets!"**_

_**Since when did Miley meet Cortez!?**_


	12. A Weird Vacation!

_They've decided to take a vacation... at the Tipton!?_

"What's going on!?" _Moseby shouts._

"We'd like a room." _Yuna says._

_Zack and Cody rush by, stealing 5000 gil from Rikku. Rikku chases after them._

"No running in the lobby!" _Moseby yells._

_They come running back, Rikku has taken back the gil. Hannah Montana enters._

"IT'S HANNAH MONTANA!!" _Rikku and Maddie both exclaim._

_Auron slips away to the Tipton Bar... (if it actually has one... better ask Moseby)._

"Yes, I had a bar put in after those Bikers showed and got angry at the lack of booze." _Moseby explains._

_Vic Vance runs in and shoots the Bikers. _

_With Rikku and Maddie following Hannah around, Tidus and Yuna go to check out the room. Wakka gets kicked out after throwing a ball into the lounge and knocking everyone out cold. Kimahri simply never came, deciding instead to go into training. Auron is still at the bar. Lulu is teaching London how to make dolls, not very successfully... Esteban finds Wakka and they play blitzball... Arwin builds a robot that Tidus busts up, thinking it's a killer machina._

"Bye Hannah! Thanks for the autographs!" _Rikku and Maddie exclaim._

_London actually succeeds in making a doll._

"Look, Maddie! I made a doll! Yay me!" _London exclaims._

_Vic Vance rushes out with two sacks of gil._

_London's doll begins walking around, casting spells._

"My doll!" _London exclaims._

"These dolls are enchanted. Just command it to stop." _Lulu explains._

"...um, stop doll!" _London commands. The doll stops. _"Yay me!"

_Zack Fair bursts in, waving the Buster Sword around, then leaves._

"...ay, blognish.." _Rikku says._

_Zack and Cody run by again, not steal gil this time._

_A giant bird appears outside. Esteban shoots (!) it. Wakka attacks it. Lulu casts Flare. The bird dies._

"I bought this gun from that big guy. You know, the guy with the gil." _Esteban says._

"..ay, blognish.." _everyone says._

_**To Be Continued...**_

_**"Fru Cyet, Fru Cyet**_

_**E lyh'd pa Superman?**_

_**E Cyo, E Cyo**_

_**Dryd E ghuf E lyh!**_

_**Fru Cyet, Fru Cyet**_

_**E fuh'd pa Bnacetahd?**_

_**E Cyo, E Cyo**_

_**Oui yeh'd caah hudreh' oad!" Rikku sings.**_


	13. The Gold Saucer!

_Well, they're back from the Tipton... wait.. _

"Hey, fools! You never paid!" _Moseby shouts._

_"_Crap!" _Tidus says._

_Tidus pays Moseby 3000 gil._

_Cloud walks in, gives Yuna a Gold Saucer pass (Lifetime!) and leaves._

"What is the 'Gold Saucer'?_ Yuna asks._

_Rikku looks it up in the 'Cloud Strife Amazing Guide'._

"It's an amusement park of sorts! Let's go!" _Rikku exclaims._

_So, they go to the Gold Saucer. Tidus, Wakka, and Auron go to the Battle Square. Lulu goes to the Hotel to make dolls that will later fight_

_in the Battle Square. Kimahri eats popcorn outside the main entrance. Yuna and Rikku watch a play, then Rikku sneaks off to the Chocobo Square where _

_Cid and Brother are betting. Barney enters._

"Hey!! I AM BARNEY!!" _he yells._

_"Ay, blognish.." Rikku says, preparing for battle._

_Rikku throws a Grenade, which Barney eats. Cid throws a Chocobo at Barney then hides. Brother gets sent flying down into the Desert Prison. Yuna runs in and summons_

_Pikachu. Pikachu zaps Barney into oblivion. Anima then appears and uses Oblivion, finishing Barney off._

"He'd better be gone for good!" _Rikku exclaims._

_They decide to leave. Auron had killed an odd monster called 'Emperor Aevis'. _

"The weirdest part was someone kept saying 'Off Course!' when we continued our battle." _Tidus says._

_"_We beat Barney up again!" _Rikku exclaims._

_They head back to Besaid, but not before picking Brother up from the Prison! Ruby WEAPON had almost gotten him. Ay, blognish!_

"Hey, Rikku. What is 'Ay, Blognish'?" _Yuna asks._

"It's not Al Bhed! It's something I picked up when I was traveling that one time. It means 'Oh dang'!" _Rikku exclaims._

**_To Be Continued..._**

**_What should happen next? Should Carl Johnson do something? I really have NO CONTROL over Barney, the bastard keeps coming! Ay, blognish!_**

**_Ruby WEAPON wants women! Lots of 'em!_**

**_What a loser..._**


	14. You Know How I Do!

_What's going on? Why's CJ throwing stuff around!? Why is there an out of control party? Edwin and Lizzie.. I mean, Yuna and Rikku have gone into hiding! There's a hockey game in the Temple! And the house is trashed! _

_Oh, and there's a dead Barney at the village gate..._

"We killed Barney again! Is he getting weaker?" _Tidus asks. _

"Good thing I was here! I had to use my hockey stick!" _Derek Venturi says._

"Hey! Yuna hung up the Excalipoor!" _Tidus notes. _

_Sure enough, Excalipoor is hanging just above the clubhouse entrance. It's an ornamental sword, not one to fight with, you hear me Gilgamesh!?_

"Crap... and now I gotta throw away this 'Bluster Sword' I found in Nibelheim..."_Gilgamesh says from somewhere unknown. _

_Looks like Auron and Cid found a list of odd swords..._

_**Shave The Queen**_

_**Used by Knights who think they have what it takes to be royal guards, but instead are given these joke swords to prove themselves.**_

_**Kayos Blade**_

_**Seemingly, the most powerful blade in the world...turns it target into... a chicken?**_

_**Spanker of the Dingus **_

_**Strange blade that feeds on the wielder's sanity...**_

_**Troop Thrashing Blade**_

_**Can destroy a whole army... ?**_

"What's this about?" _Tidus asks._

"Odd swords that seem to have a use, but really they are junk." _Auron explains._

_Suddenly, Barney comes crashing in again! And he's got London Tipton! And a **Spanker of the Dingus!**_

"Crap! It's Barney again!" _Wakka yells._

_Wakka throws a ball at Barney. Barney puts up 'Super Fat Barrier', which adds Protect and Shell._

_Auron slams Barney. Barney swings the odd sword around. Suddenly, Ramza comes in and throws a Snowmelt Bomb. Barney starts melting, then disappears. Victory!_

"Who're you?" _Tidus asks._

"I am Ramza Beoulve! I'll take that sword!" _Ramza replies._

_Ramza runs off with the _**_Spanker of the Dingus._**

_Hey, what happened to London?_

"I'm fine! Yay me!" _London exclaims. _

_London leaves. _

_Tidus and Wakka turn on the TV._

"**Cory! You're not off the hook, yet!"**

"**Daddy, no!"**

"**Ay Blognish..."**

_**Switch.**_

"**Coming up next, on 'News from Bahavia'..."**

_**Switch.**_

"**How to make Buster Sword"...**

**1 Adamantite, 2 Purgatory Stones, 6 Stress Gems, 12 Hallucinatory Ammo, 1 Jackpot Gear, and 20 Overcharges. **

"**Behold, the Buster Sword! Ahh! I'm on fire!" **

_**Switch off. **_

_**Well, gotta go... looks like Brother and Cid are making beer again. Hear that explosion from the airship? ...that was them. **_

_**To Be Continued...**_


	15. Interesting or not

_**Well, the mess from the party's been cleaned up. Barney's gone... CJ's fixing the Temple...**_

"The other side, the other side, the other side of me..!"_Rikku sings._

_A Chocobo kills a Dingo. _

_Vic Vance delivers Yuneos to Luca._

"By day, I play, the part in every way... of simple, sweet, calm and collected..!" _Rikku continues._

_Auron massacres a group of Dingo's._

_Kimahri joins Cid and Brother to make beer._

_An explosion is heard._

_The Mario Bros run into town, being chased by Vic Vance and the Jonas Bros._

"Dude, we can't outrun 'em! Throw a few fireballs!" _Luigi yells before being eaten by a Garuda._

_Mario disappears in a flash of light._

"Crap, he's escaped... oh well, I'm going to the bar to see if Ramza's got any missions yet." _Nick Jonas says._

_The Jo-Bros leave._

_Vic returns to the Yuneos truck._

"Ay, blognish... what a bunch of losers..." _Rikku says._

_Wakka finds a tape of Mario and Bowser... OH! For Yevon's sake, don't play it!! AH, too late!! For the love of Bahavia!! No!! _

"Ahh! It's Mario! And Bowser! And.. they're... playing poker!!" _Wakka yells, destroying the tape._

_Mario comes back and gets eaten by a Garuda. He and Luigi get barfed up in the Sanubia Sands where the Al Bhed have work for them..._

"Everybody makes mistakes, everybody has those days, everybody knows what I'm talking about, everybody gets that way!" _Rikku sings._

_Rikku turns on the TV._

"Zack, what are you doing!?"

"I've hollowed out this old Adamantoise shell! It's an awesome place to party!"

_Switch._

"Ay, blognish."

_Switch._

"The Aurochs win!! The Besaid Aurochs win the cup! They're going to Guadosalam!"

_Switch off._

_Rikku decides to go to the Temple to beat Wakka and Tidus at Dance Dance Revolution or Guitar Hero or Rock Band._

_**To Be Continued...**_

_**Mario and Luigi are still working for the Al Bhed... what are they doing? Oh! They're building a... spaceship? Dude... awesome!!**_

_**Stupid Newt, getting in the way...**_


	16. Matamune?

_Tidus and Wakka went to Rollin' Heights Ballas Territory. They used a car called a 'Greenwood'. Auron went shortly after on a Quadbike. Together, they used Power Break, Dark Buster, and a Micro-SMG to waste the Ballas. _

"Thanks to Carl for that SMG." _Wakka comments._

_Suddenly, Seymour runs into town... and gets run over by a Quadbike. _

_The Aurochs are having a Quadbike race to the beach. _

_Gilgamesh enters with something called 'Matamune'. _

"This is a piece of crap! Just an old crappy fishing rod!" _Gilgamesh shouts. _

_He throws the rod away and leaves. Wakka finds it._

"Hey, let's put this up, ya?" _Wakka says._

_Yuna polishes the Matamune and hangs it next to the Excalipoor. _

"There! It looks nice!" _Yuna exclaims._

_Where's everyone else? Oh, they're off around the world. Auron went to fight Malboros at the Calm Lands. Kimahri is trying to learn Putrid Breath from the Malboro Menace. And the rest are fixing up the airship after Brother exploded another beer machine. What a mess that was..._

_Oh, and Barney came back only to be eaten by a Malboro. The Ronso Fangs won a game!! Tidus, Wakka, and Auron beat up the Ballas and Vagos! _

_And Carl Johnson saved Besaid from total destruction after Seymour set off a nuclear bomb. _

_Yuna turns the TV on..._

"_**Kung Fu kats, Kung Fu kats, lookin' cool in their Kung Fu hats..."**_

_**Switch.**_

"_**For the Grove dude, we gotta put work in."**_

_**Switch off.**_

_Yuna goes to the Temple to see if Rikku has started another game of Dance Dance Revolution or something._

_Sadly this is...._

_**The End...**_

_**I'm trying to with a 'saga' of sorts... everyone will be there, from Cloud, Squall and the rest... all the way to ... let's say some random dudes. Maybe Carl CJ Johnson.**_

_**The End.**_


End file.
